I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize