still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
