You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize