girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
