So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
did you just send me my own nude
After tacos, we're chasing women.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
