where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
