It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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