6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I just found puke in my bra..
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
