Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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