ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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