O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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