Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
