guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
