Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Randomize
