Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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