Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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