Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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