made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i just google imaged poop.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
