I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
