Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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