Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
