yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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