i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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