if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
love makes seman taste better
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You made out with two different species that night
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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