Screwed.edu
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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