Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
