Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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