Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
