spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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