What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
