FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Randomize
