omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
