Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Randomize
