It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
