I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
