my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
