Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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