Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
