I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Randomize
