the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
