Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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