It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
