My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
