Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
