Whod you bang
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
