susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
