I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
And then my night got REAL pukey
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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