I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
