so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
