They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
