i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
