Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
