She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
