I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
