...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Randomize
