I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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