Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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