I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
