I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
