You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
