There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
