Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
