I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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